Sunday, August 10, 2008

Waste triumphs and traumas

It's finally happened! I booked into a hotel that doesn't have a pedal bin in the accessible bathroom! (as in wheelchair user = mobility impairment + a pedal bin requires operating with the feet = a big mess round the bin, d'oh...)

This bin was wall mounted at a sympathetic height for a wheelchair user, right next to the sink, with a handle attached to the lid. I grant if you can't use your hands either this would have been as much use as a chocolate teapot, but then again, maybe you'd have a PA with you in that case. Anyhow. I gleefully chucked in my dental floss feeling the warm glow of satisfaction that someone somewhere in the hospitality industry had put two and two together. How thoughtful.

Unfortunately, the design of the toilet bowl was rather too thoughtful. Maybe you've seen a design like it if you've been to Germany - I first encountered one there when I was on the school German exchange. The toilet bowl is mainly a flat shelf, with just a small hole toward the front of the bowl into which everything gets flushed. The idea is that you 'do your business' and then get up to inspect whatever lands on the shelf. It's the kind of thing the repressed English don't do enough of, but more conscientious nations may do as a matter of course.

You might say it's logical to be concerned about bowel health, but the thing is, I don't need a special toilet pan to show me I've eaten rubbish. I know that already, because if rubbish goes in then even by the most rudimentary logic, that is what will come out.

But perhaps we in UK have had a rude enough introduction to this practice from a certain small-but-fierce Scottish lady, who makes silly money humiliating people by judging the content of their bottoms. Maybe it is for the greater good, but as much as I like the concept of being healthy inside and out I could not help but be flushed with shame when it came to my moment of truth.

I may be making too much of a fuss, but dear reader, I was not prepared. The fact is it's hard to eat healthily on the road. Poo charts be damned. I am traumatised. Thank goodness for the thoughtfully placed accessible height window, toward which I now wheel in haste to take in a few breaths of sweet, clean air...

9 comments:

Timmargh said...

I bet if you complimented the hotel staff on the fact that they'd been sensible enough to include a non-pedal bin in the loo then they'd have smiles on their faeces!

Sorry, that was a shit joke but I had to get it out of my cistern ...

I'll get me coat!

Scriptor Senex said...

Good bloggers should be refused blogging holidays... More, please!

goooooood girl said...

i like your blog......

Kevin said...

While the topic was crappy, your shituation was down right funky. Great post, and I'll definitely be back, with air freshener of course, to read more. Thanks for a great post.

函佩政松 said...

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hellogege said...

I Like Your Blog ...

HarriettAckley0317 said...

wonderful...................................................

1202NathanV_Woodell said...

nice to know you ~........................................

Darter Noster said...

Hello,

Apologies for off-topic commenting, but I haven't been blogging for very long and otherwise no one knows I exist :o)

Anyway, I'm seeking an answer to a particular topic: disabled super heroes - who is the first?

I maintain Super Ted; however, others may disagree, and I'm hoping to encourage them to. If you or they want to state an opinion, please do so here: http://arrowedbethyname.blogspot.com/2010/05/who-is-first-disabled-super-hero.html

Ta

Aidan